I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
