When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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