imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
