It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
We left an ass print on the piano.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
