We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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