i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
