love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
