i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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