i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
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It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
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My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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