Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
