She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
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I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
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Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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