i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
