she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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