Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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