Your dad touched me again.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
