The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
