batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
