What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
