I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We talked him into tasing himself.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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