I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
