We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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