First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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