also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
