New invention idea: vibrating tampons
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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