ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
