So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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