1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
