I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
