Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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