He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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