I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
