i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
if only i could text you this smell
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
