Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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