I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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