I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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