I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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