I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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