Dual....:-)
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
