Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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