I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize