GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
