new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
