yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
