belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
