I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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