i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize