I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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