He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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