Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Randomize
