first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
