actually, I'm a sock model
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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