You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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