He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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