Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
