I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
