I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My breasts were aching with rage.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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