There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
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