Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
It was like giving head to a cactus.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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