Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
