Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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