you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
