I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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