do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize