I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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