I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
