Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
