I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
