do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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