So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
