so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
