Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
