WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
he puts the penis in happiness.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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